Fostering a Growth Mindset in Children: Insights from Experienced Teacher Michelle Blais

Unlock the transformative power of a growth mindset for your child with the guidance of Michelle Blais, an elementary school teacher with over 16 years of molding young minds. Drawing from her deep well of experience and her background in psychology, Michelle shares the secrets to nurturing resilience, confidence, and a love for learning in children. Our heart-to-heart with her reveals the stark contrasts between a growth and fixed mindset, and how one fosters curiosity while the other could stifle it, especially in the ever-evolving post-pandemic classroom.

Join us for a conversation that doesn't just celebrate the role of educators but offers a beacon of guidance for anyone invested in the growth of a child—be they a parent, teacher, or caregiver.

• Michelle on IG: https://www.instagram.com/misschellemindset
• Raising Resilience Program: https://michelle-blais-8b03.mykajabi.com/beta-waitlist
• Best picture books to build children's confidence interactive book list (freebie): https://michelle-blais-8b03.mykajabi.com/opt-in

CONNECT WITH NIKA: https://mtr.bio/nika-lawrie
Instagram: instagram.com/biohacking4babes
TikTok: tiktok.com/@biohacking4babes
YouTube: youtube.com/@NikaLawrie
Facebook: facebook.com/biohacking4babes

SUBMIT A QUESTION OR REQUEST A TOPIC:
I would love to hear from you! Please record your question or topic request to be featured in a future episode: https://www.speakpipe.com/NikaLawrie

DISCLAIMER:
*This podcast and its contents are for informational purposes only and are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or a qualified health provider for any questions concerning a medical condition or health objectives. Additionally, the advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every individual and are not guaranteed for business or personal success. Use discretion and seek professional counsel when necessary.

Transcript

Nika Lawrie: 0:06

Welcome to the Inspired with Nika Lawrie podcast. Michelle, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today. How are you doing? I'm good. I'm so excited, too. Awesome. I know we're going to talk about something that is truly near and dear to both our hearts. We're going to talk about the growth mindset and fixed mindset. I know I work with my clients on some of that, but you have a really unique approach to it. You work with children to help them develop resilience and confidence and those kind of things. I can't wait to get into it Me too. Very excited. Before we start, can you tell me a little bit about your backstory? Who are you? What do you do? What got you into where you're at today?

Michelle Blais: 0:54

Okay, well, I am an elementary school teacher. I've been teaching for it's my 16th year teaching. Interestingly enough, I didn't always know I wanted to be a teacher. I did a bachelor's degree in psychology and I was considering going all the way in psychology and pursuing that. I took a year off and I went to Spain and I really wanted to teach children English there. Yeah, the job I got ended up being teaching adults, but I loved teaching. Then I came back here to Canada and I went back to school for teaching and I've been loving it ever since. That's awesome.

Nika Lawrie: 1:36

I know I kind of can drink spirits there because I same thing, I have a degree in psychology, and then my cousin, so I didn't, but my cousin went to Spain and she spent about a decade out there teaching people how to speak English in Spain. Very similar kind of situations there, definitely. Tell me a little bit about how did you start thinking about working with children? What issues were you seeing or what experience did you have that you realized that you needed to start supporting them in confidence and those kind of things.

Michelle Blais: 2:08

Yeah, when I started off teaching, I taught in an inner city school and there were a lot of needs in that school. I loved it. I loved the kids there. I was there about six years and I ended up moving to another area with really supportive families. Often they had one parent that was able to stay home with them. In theory, they had everything they needed to be successful and thrive.

Michelle Blais: 2:38

When I moved there, I noticed that there weren't less needs in the classroom. Yeah, they were just different needs. There was so much anxiety and just fear of trying new things and seeing these little ones shut down and not even be willing to try. I was like, okay, maybe it's just my first couple of years, maybe it's a fluke, and no, it's only gotten more. Since COVID, in particular, I continued to get worse. I just became passionate about this. Isn't right. We need to help these kiddos. I did a lot of research on growth mindset and the work of Carol Dweck, the psychologist who created it, and started implementing it in my classroom and have seen a lot of positive changes.

Nika Lawrie: 3:32

That's awesome. I definitely want to hear more about that Before we get into the experience that you've had and what you've seen. Can you explain what is the basic idea behind growth mindset or fixed mindset, and particularly how does that relate to children too?

Michelle Blais: 3:49

Yeah. So a fixed mindset is the idea that you're kind of either born intelligent or not. So people with a fixed mindset okay, I'm like, born good at math, I'm just good at math, or I'm a natural athlete and there's not the idea that things can be changed. Right, you can improve a little bit, but you're kind of good at it or not. And often people with a fixed mindset, they have a hard time accepting feedback and they, if something's challenging for them, sometimes they won't persist with it. They'd rather just do something they're already good at.

Michelle Blais: 4:31

And that's in contrast to a growth mindset where the belief is okay, people are not born smart or not, it's all about you can put effort into something and you can learn and you can improve. So that's the core belief. And in classroom kids with a growth mindset that I would see, they are the ones who they finish their work and they're like oh, I want to challenge one, give me harder math questions, and they'll sit and persist on something. Right, yeah, and that's in contrast to some of the other ones who they just shut down if something's hard, or they won't even start. They won't even start it.

Nika Lawrie: 5:13

It's interesting because I see that with adult clients too. It's like you get stuck in this little rut and unless you work on it and you practice it and you kind of see it, it seems like it sticks with the children all the way until adulthood. So it's so cool that you're helping these children kind of make that shift early on.

Michelle Blais: 5:34

Yes and I have a deep, dark secret to share with you which is that the reason I mean it's not that I have a feeling that it sounds better than it is, but like, really the reason I'm passionate about it is because as a kid I was the fixed mindset kid and to an extent I still am now Like I was a perfectionist, so I would only want to do something handed in if it was perfect.

Michelle Blais: 6:02

And even now as a teacher, right, I work a lot and I go through things and try to make them perfect, because you know what, if, what, if my principal didn't like something I was doing right. So that's actually what. When I saw kids like this, I was like this is a little me and I only wish that I would have had somebody recognize that in me when I was younger, because it is a lot harder when you're already an adult to shift, to make that shift, yeah, which I have made improvements, but a lot of the improvements I've made in myself have been through teaching the kids and, like myself, implementing the strategies as we go.

Nika Lawrie: 6:50

So that mean that's what they always say. I think so many people become, you know, health coaches or life coaches or whatever, because they see the issue in themselves and then they learn it like good enough and then they want to share what they've learned with everybody else so that they can help those people. But the reality is is that, as they're teaching it, that's what's actually ingraining it in themselves. Like you know, you have to teach to learn kind of thing. If I don't know if that makes sense, but it's total sense, yeah, Total sense. Yeah, how funny it's.

Nika Lawrie: 7:23

One of the things when you were talking made me think about. I don't know who said it or where I learned it, but something really stuck in me was to not Not emphasize like, like good grades or like my daughter doing an excellent thing, but instead to emphasize the effort or like the work that she put into it. And so I remember hearing that it was probably like a TikTok video or something, honestly, which is sad, but like. I just remember that really sticking to me and it was this whole mental shift that I took on with my daughter and really trying to talk to her about. You know, I'm proud of you when you put hard work in like I don't care if you get the answer right, I don't care if it's whatever it's the effort that you put into trying to solve whatever the problem is, and that's so true.

Michelle Blais: 8:14

That is how I am in my classroom with children, like it's not, like, oh, it doesn't matter what you do, the quality of your work doesn't matter. But it's like I'm gonna be equally as proud of a student who gets everything wrong on a test. But I saw what do they do when they get it wrong. Okay, they got something wrong and then they tried something else, and then they kept trying and changing our strategies versus the one who just got it all right, because they already knew it. You know, they had some background knowledge. So I tell the students I say am I going to be more proud of you if you get them all right? And no, like I say, watch what you're doing. When something doesn't go right for you, I pay attention. Are you trying a different strategy? So the feedback is huge and sometimes parents unknowingly thinking they're doing the best for their child with the feedback they give, unknowingly they reinforce a fixed mindset.

Nika Lawrie: 9:18

So yeah, so you've mentioned some of them already. But what are some of the kind of common signs or like traits that you see in the children who have that fixed mindset Like what are they doing day to day at school that you can identify?

Michelle Blais: 9:35

Yeah, so there's like a whole spectrum of what I might see, but all the way from the child who, you know, just shuts down at a learning task, you know, bursting into tears or getting really dysregulated when they're asked to do something that they don't know. So that's like the one end of the spectrum. But then also there's the other end of these students who are very high achieving students and they just they see themselves as I am smart, I'm the smart kid, but they just kind of do the minimum.

Nika Lawrie: 10:13

Yeah.

Michelle Blais: 10:14

And you're like you have so much potential, just try this challenge, just try it. But it's like they're known as the smart kid and they don't wanna do anything that might interfere with that right. So like they won't try the challenge because what if I got it wrong? Like how does that affect people's view on me? So I think both are equally important. Yeah, absolutely. Like neither is reaching their potential because both have a block there.

Nika Lawrie: 10:49

Yeah, how does the parental role play in that, like giving them praise or like how does that either support them with the growth mindset and getting into that, or help them or cause them, I guess, to stay stuck in this fixed mindset?

Michelle Blais: 11:07

Yeah well, I mean, it's always really innocent because parents want the best for their child. But it's like they come home and it's like, oh, let me see your test. Oh, you got 100%. That's great, you know. And in theory, like, yeah, you're praising them, they did a good job. It's sort of a shift into the way you praise them. Like they bring something home and it's like, oh, like, tell me about it. Like when you were working on it, like was this challenging for you? Or you know, and say wow, like, even if they got some wrong, being like, wow, like I saw that you got these wrong. But it looks like, from looking at your paper, like you tried a few things, like you didn't just skip the questions, like you worked through it and like you said how you heard that about your daughter, like praising the process and the strategies that they use over the outcome.

Nika Lawrie: 12:07

Yeah. So can you give me a couple examples, like I don't know? Say you have a student in your class and they're struggling to. They're like afraid to raise their hand or to be engaged in something. What are some of the I don't know techniques or things you would say? What are some of the strategies you might use to help that kid kind of build more confidence?

Michelle Blais: 12:30

Definitely In my classroom I start off the year building a community where we're all supportive of each other and you know, the praise comes in wow, you tried something that was new. Wow, you stepped out of your comfort zone right from the beginning of the year. And I actually set up protocols in my classroom. Like if you're working with a partner, with a peer, and they're having a hard time with something, like, how can you support them? Do you just give them? Give them the answer and like tell them what to do? No, like here's some words you can say to them to encourage them, or here's a way you can suggest they try something different.

Michelle Blais: 13:17

So it's like the whole way I set up my classroom is a community where we're actually here to try lots of new things and it's not about getting them all right. It's about, you know, trying and teaching them about their brain. Like it's actually growing your brain when you make a mistake and you recover from it and you try something different, whether or not you eventually get the right answer or not. Like it's good for your brain. So for parents, I would say it's about setting up that culture in your home too, where it's like okay, so what did you do today? That was scary. Or what did you do today at school that like you kind of got out of your comfort zone? Yeah, I actually go ahead. Yeah, I don't know if you know Sarah Blakely, she's the.

Nika Lawrie: 14:10

yeah, she's a woman who created.

Michelle Blais: 14:12

okay, that's the exact thing I was going to say, yes, yeah, so she talks about her dad. When she would come home, her and her brother, every day from school, he would be like Kate, what did you fail at today? Yes, and she would say something and he would like all the you know, all the praise, all the like well, that's awesome, like it must have been hard for you and you failed and that's great, and like you're still here. And so she said it was never about the outcome, it was about taking those risks. So for parents, like setting up that type of a culture in your home, like a yeah, like that's the expectation is we're all going to try things, yeah, that's funny.

Nika Lawrie: 14:50

That's the exact example I was going to give is I remember her saying that and it just sticking with me too is like would you fail at today? And then him being disappointed when she didn't fail at something like. And one of the things that I started doing with my daughter, too, is I would pick her up from school and it used to be like I'd ask her how was school and she'd say, fine, you know. Or I would ask her what'd you learn today? And she goes I don't remember.

Nika Lawrie: 15:16

And so it was just these closed, these closed responses, right, like there was no engagement in the conversation. And so I started instead asking her, like what'd you work on today? And so then she had to think about like what was it she actually worked on? And like what you know, lessons were going on, what projects were, and it started a much more open conversation where I could ask more questions and it was much more dynamic. And so I don't know, it's interesting when you switch you, as the parents switch how you're approaching things, you get very different responses from your child.

Michelle Blais: 15:52

Definitely. And sometimes it's just like small subtlet shifts over like a period of time, yeah, and make all the difference right, it's not like a big like oh my goodness, I have to learn this totally new way of life and right, yeah, and it can be small things that you do over a period of time that will make a big difference. Yeah, absolutely.

Nika Lawrie: 16:18

So what do you do for somebody who has, like a really emotional child, Like maybe they're fearful and they start crying or they get frustrated easily or you know, maybe even some like behavioral issues? Like what do you do in those kinds of situations to help the kid kind of manage their emotions and then you know kind of be more positive, going forward about whatever the situation is?

Michelle Blais: 16:44

Yeah, well, first of all I try to like, I guess, as we were talking about, sort of prevented in the first place. So you know, on the community and the culture is different, it makes it less likely that they're going to be as nervous about it. But I really focus a lot on self-regulation for children. So I spend a lot of time with them on, okay, how can you recognize in your body when you're starting to get a feeling of like, okay, I'm nervous, right, like not when it's too late, but like those beginning feelings okay. So, like my tummy kind of hurts is a common one, right, I have a tummy ache. And then teaching them strategies that they can use, like when it's just starting.

Michelle Blais: 17:32

So I have a whole range of different breathing activities they can do. Or maybe for some children it's like I'm going to go for a walk and I teach them actually like mindful walking where you like breathe in and out as you step and you count your steps. And for others, you know, go get a drink of water. So it's kind of personalized in that way. But finding out, you know, trying some things with your child, some strategies around self-regulation and then what works for them, that's awesome.

Nika Lawrie: 18:09

We touched on it a little bit earlier. But implementing like these different strategies or having support like this, how does that, you know, how does making the shift to the growth mindset really help the children like long term? So if we're starting in the early years making that shift and, you know, getting out of that rut like we talked about earlier, how does that help them, both academically and personally, really going forward?

Michelle Blais: 18:37

Definitely. I think it's like. That's why I'm so passionate about it. It's everything right. So, like every grade, like in school, for example every grade they have an opportunity to either like, learn a lot and absorb a lot and try a lot of new things, but a lot of them don't right.

Michelle Blais: 18:57

They're not engaging, they're afraid they won't try something. And, like, from the age of like zero to 10 is really when their brain is developing and where, like, they need to be trying these experiences right. It's like where the bulk of learning is, and actually they do say. I was listening to the Cuban lab. He was talking about all the way up to, like, the age of 20, right is when it's most, but zero to 10. So they're making the most out of all of these great learning experiences that are presented to them when they have that fine set and they're willing to try, versus like the same child in the same class like they get out of it.

Michelle Blais: 19:42

So helping them get out of their own way. But that continues into life, right, like, how many times like, did I play it safe and not do something that I, you know, really was passionate about doing? Because, oh, what would people think?

Nika Lawrie: 20:00

Yeah, right, yeah, when you said get out of your own way, it really resonated with me and I'm like man, like every time I get out of my own way my life ends up better. Like every single time, like I do that scary thing, or like I commit to the thing that I was unsure about but didn't know, and like kind of you know but, but I did it and I got out of my way, my life got better, and so it's like getting learning the tools to work past that fear I think is so key.

Michelle Blais: 20:29

And just saying, okay, if Sarah Blakely wouldn't have had this growth mindset, like there would be no spanks probably in my life, right, like how many people are, like my life has changed because of spanks and so you know, like that's, that's enough for me.

Nika Lawrie: 20:51

You know this, what this woman built a billion dollar, a billion dollar business, even when she thought she couldn't right, because she worked past building that fear, or worked past having that fear, I should say.

Michelle Blais: 21:04

Yeah, I honestly, truly like. That's why I'm so passionate. I believe it's like a life changer and like the earlier you start with your kiddos, the better they will be. Yeah, yeah.

Nika Lawrie: 21:18

So I know you have some, some tools and different things that you offer to help parents what like? What are the some of the things that you offer to help them do this with their child?

Michelle Blais: 21:28

Yeah, well, I have. Just you know, if you're starting out and you're like I just want something quick and simple, I have a interactive book list, like a clickable book list with all of my most favorite books. So it's not like that awkward conversation with your child, it's like through story and getting them engaged. So I do off like have that just as like a free link, like from my Instagram. But also I created a program for parents specifically called raising resilience, because, well, the reason I created it is because I see the growth I have in the kids in one school year but then they leave me and like have a net different teacher next year who might not have the same philosophy and I don't have enough, I don't have enough chance to really explain to the parents the strategies so that they can implement like them at home.

Michelle Blais: 22:24

So, yeah, this program goes into so many different areas. It goes into praise, it goes into modeling failures. There's actually a whole section on like self regulation for children. Oh, that's huge, yeah, yeah. And then actually at the very end it's like there's a whole section called family failure funds. So it's actually a bunch of activities can do with your kids and kind of talking you through like ways to model, like when you, you know, don't get something right. So, yeah, I'm really excited about it because it's my way to, you know, help the children on a bigger scale, like.

Michelle Blais: 23:08

I just think the families need to be doing it as well.

Nika Lawrie: 23:12

And that's so cool, like it's so huge. I think I know when I first met you and you had kind of told me about that course, like in, like, I think the first thing I said to you was like, oh my God, I need that, I need that for me, and my daughter like to have that. I think it's such a cool, cool opportunity for the parents to help the children, but also probably for the parents to learn for themselves too. So I have. I have one last question for you. It's a question we always do, some type of quickfire question at the end of the episode. In this episode, since it's so much relating to, like children growing and, you know, being really confident, resilient to our lives, what is the thing that inspires you the most to continue in your path forward?

Michelle Blais: 23:57

Oh, I mean I, what inspires me the most is it's the kids. Like I've always felt like I don't have my own children and I've always felt like I'm a teacher because I need help kids with growth mindset, like this is my purpose, and then coming to the realization of like, oh my goodness, like more than helping 20 kids in my class Every year, like I need to help more kids. So it's just that it's that that inspires me to keep doing it and talking about it, and like it doesn't feel like work to me, like I could you know, I could keep you on here for many hours Talking about it, because I just I know that it makes such a difference.

Nika Lawrie: 24:49

So yeah, that's okay, that's so huge. Well, first I just want to recognize you and say thank you for just being a teacher. You know the world knows teachers do not get enough recognition, so thank you so much for the work that you're doing to support the kids in your classroom and the work that you're doing to support parents, and you know the world full of children that could, you know, get access to your course and stuff too. So thank you for the work you're doing. I really appreciate it.

Michelle Blais: 25:16

Well, thank you for having me on here.

Nika Lawrie: 25:18

It was really fun. Absolutely Thank you.